Yesterday, I was finally laid off from my job. I say “finally,” as it had an odd history. I started with a new company on 2025-04-14, a Monday. This company was being spun out of another company, so they needed to set up a whole cybersecurity team. I was to be one of two managers over a team of thirty. While HQ was in the ‘Burbs, we were going to set up a new cyberdefense center five miles from my home–I was going to bike there. All in all, this sounded like a great opportunity to move to a more stable position, and have a greater impact.

That Thursday–three days later–they announced company was being acquired. I have no reason to believe that the C-suite person we rolled up to knew at the time I had an offer letter. He could have said, “let’s pause this for a bit.” Probably didn’t in order to appease some law to make finance bros wealthier. Not doing so was an unethical thing. I left a job I had. On my last day there, a prospect I had considered reappeared, looking better.

Since that team had an existing cybersecurity team, all those plans were put on hold and/or canceled. We had five people (plus me and the other manager, my boss at the time) hired, and the team remained that size. The cyberdefense center was cancelled–I had to drive to the burbs. Not a lot was transitioned to our team from the old company, so we didn’t have a lot to do.

It was dull. We received very few tickets. I helped the team where it made sense.

I survived a round of layoffs. Honestly, as a “spare” manager, I would have understood, from a logical point of view.

The acquisition was final in January of 2026, but they were planning the integration. Things stayed basically the same, give or take a few extra meetings. Still not a lot to do.

In July, they announced the “new organization.” Another round of layoffs. I survived.

I was put into a position because I had no role, and the position needed a body. I had no experience in the function, the technology, background, company, tools, or processes. My new manager had a skill assessment call. “Do you know this?” “No.” At one point, I asked if I was a fit. She allowed that, as a manager, I’d have a team to lean on. Had it been an external interview, I would have expected a “we decided to go with a different candidate” email. One of my former peers was sitting behind me, and said that sounded brutal.

I spent three months trying to learn the job, stressing everyday. For the first month, I had so much thrown at me that I didn’t know what questions to ask and be useful. No team ever materialized. Training was very hit-or-miss. “Ask someone on Teams.” The way the team operated was very different any other team I’ve worked on–it took a lot to get used to. I’d talk to that colleague, until he left the company, as a sanity check. Yes, it was wierd.

But I was overwhelmed–so many tickets and tools and processes. I went to dark places, and had to get a therapist.

Gradually, I felt like I was making progress. I was TOLD I was making progress. I started to figure out what questions to ask and get a meaningful response. I started to figure out what my next step was. For the general background, I signed up for courses out of my own pocket. I was doing my part.

We were interviewing people, but in the UK (I’m in the US). Most of the external folks we worked with were in the Eastern Hemisphere. My afternoons were when I’d catch up, because things got dead. I wondered if I should shift my hours–I debated asking that. We were coming up on DST. If “after work ride” meant 2 PM, sign me up!

Yesterday, I was told they decided to eliminate this role from the US, and move it offshore. I was told that it was a business decision. Objectively, I could see it. Better overlap with the time zone. I can’t shake the feeling, however, this was somehow more than that. Either my boss wanted it to be UK based all along, or I wasn’t coming up to speed fast enough, and this was a path of least resistance.

After 35 years, I was laid off for the first time.

(I had worried they’d put me on a PIP. That would be a whole new layer of stress. I’m too Type A not to push and push and push. I also felt it would not be fair–I didn’t ask for this role, and they knew what they were getting.)

I’m kinda scared–my wife and I have known too many people who get to our age, get laid off, and that’s basically it: they don’t get another job in the field or with the same income. They muddle through until retirement. I really don’t want that.

I’m taking a bit of time to process this. I’m putting out feelers. I’m making different levels of planning. This is a huge blow to me. But I know I’m more than that. It’s just going to take time.

I’m trying to stay positive, or at least not despondent. Day 2 has not gone to that plan, but, like I said, it’s day 2.

I’ll probably blog a bit more. Just an outlet. Track this journey. Hopefully, it will be short, and I’ll be in a better place.