Wherein I Take the Colbert Questionert

In honor of his last show, I shall take The Colbert Questionert!!!

What’s the best sandwich?

I used to say muffalota. But it’s a bit heavy and greasy for me these days, and there is nowhere in Cincinnati that sells a proper one. I’d still have one in Louisiana, but I wouldn’t call it my favorite.

These days, I’d either go with bahn mi, or a torta. I tend to have more tortas, but I might prefer bahn mi.

So, bahn mi.

What’s the one thing you own that you should really throw out?

We’re due a good “spring cleaning” over here. But, if I had to pick a “something I can’t bring myself to part with but should,” it would be a raised floor tile puller, from a data center I managed then ultimately decommissioned. I knew it was not something we’d use when I brought it home, and it takes space. So, I either need to get rid of it, or mount it somewhere so it’s out of the way.

First concert?

I don’t recall seeing any concerts before moving to Cincinnati (I was 24). There were several after that that felt all-at-once. I think it was the Skatalites at Bogart’s. Fun show.

What is the scariest animal?

Spiders. The fact that something that small could sneak into my house, bite me, and kill me? No thanks.

Apples or Oranges?

Bananas

But if I had to pick one of those choices: to eat, apples (relatively less messy, so it can be eaten while doing other things), but I tend to prefer orange-flavored things.

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

Larry Wall, the inventor of Perl. He gave a talk and signed his books. I was in line with a bunch of folks with shrink wrapped second and third editions. I handed him my battered, marked up, and highlighted first edition. He opened it to signed it, closed it to look at the cover, gave me and appreciative nod, then signed it.

What do you think happens when we die?

People fight over your stuff.

Favorite action movie?

“Hot Fuzz”–It’s one of those moves that is less a spoof than an homage. It also benefits from repeat viewing–how things in the first half are echoed in the second.

Favorite smell?

Freshly baked bread.

Or bike stores. They have the smell of all the new tires on pristine bikes, all waiting to go for a ride.

Least favorite smell?

Some cheeses. Parmesan and blue cheese in particular.

Exercise: worth it?

Most certainly. It is good for my body and mind, and I get a bit crazy when I can’t.

Flat or sparkling?

I developed a preference for sparkling, if it can be produced just-in-time (as opposed to bottled).

Most used app on your phone?

Probably The Current or Strava

Earliest Memory?

In the early seventies, my dad was in the Air Force. He flew helicopters to recover reconnaissance drones. One of them, Jaws, had a shark mouth painted on it.

When I was like 3-4, they had a day where they put one on the ramp, and took photos of the squadron’s kids with it. However, I remember being scared it would eat me!

I don’t recall if the photo was ever actually taken.

Cats or dogs?

Cats. Duh.

Window or Aisle?

Probably window. I hate flying, though. Not the flying part, per say. It’s the whole commercial aviation experience.

You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?

Probably something by Yes–they have a lot of songs that go on for a good long while, and shift tone (and even genre) several times–it’d mix things up. To pick one, I’ll say “And You and I”.

What number am I thinking of?

Describe the rest of your life in five words

We should go ride bikes!

Thank You, Stephen

I’m rather bummed the cowards at CBS/Paramount capitulated to the regime, and cancelled his show. He brought a wonderful humanity to late night, and let me feel like I wasn’t crazy looking at what’s going on around me. Thank you for what you’ve done, and best of luck in whatever follows. I’ll be there!